The family is a place in which children learn toParenting and Children’s Development(2)

It really works. Learning to calm down and focus attention become increasingly important as the children mature. Learning to be calm also helps the child to concentrate in learning situations and to focus on the achievement of specific tasks. And, as a child grows, it’s extremely helpful for learning how to share toys. This skill can make a big difference in a child’s ability to enter new playgroups, make new friends, and handle rejection when peers turn away.

Although some people think authoritarian parenting is associated with school success, children from this kind family are often aggressive, fearful, and anxious and have weak communication skills, because parents have too many restrictive, punitive disciplines for their children to follow. They are also rejecting to children.　 My parents used authoritarian parenting in my family. There are three children in my family. My mother used the same style to us all. I don’t think it is best for parents or caretakers to use the same style, because different families have different children, even in the same family, children are different from each other. It’s better for them to use eclectic parenting style. We didn’t like authoritarian parenting, because we had no any opportunity to tell our feeling or argue. What we could do is “shut up” and “ follow my words.” According to John Gottman, “Family life is our first school for emotional learning” (P20). It’s true. All of us have developed into difficult emotional persons. Both of my brothers are over forty now.　They are really aggressive. They have problems in communication skills and fail to initiate activity. They also still use the same parenting to educate their children now. Especially my second elder brother, his family has lots of problems just because of his temper. He often jells to his children and fight with his wife. I am timid, fearful and have weak communication skill, too. I am afraid to express my opinion in public. we are adults now, we are all lack of confidence. We are still under the shadow of this kind of parenting and have influence to our kids. According to Goleman, families with authoritarian parents “seem unable to function well either because they cannot set guidelines, or because they do not pursue interests that involve places and persons outside the family" (P 39). This makes it more difficult for children to develop self-knowledge and differentiate their own career goals from their parents' goals.

Good parenting can help parents to make good emotional kids and have a happy family. The authoritative style balances clear, high expectations with emotional support and recognition of children's autonomy. Children associated with this kind of family are happy, cheerful, self-controlled and cope with stress. They have fewer behavior problems, and are better able to bounce back from distressing experiences. Children can do better in terms of academic achievement, health, and peer relationships. Gottman believes “the children who learn to acknowledge and master their emotions are more self-confident as well as physically healthier. They also do better in school and are more likely to grow into emotionally healthy adults”(50).

　　Please use authoritative parenting at home. It is very　good for your children’s motional development.

　　Bibliography:

　　Santrock, JohnLife – Span Psychology　　　　　　

　　Ginott, Haim Between Parent and Child

　　Goleman, Dianiel Emotional Intelligence

　　Gottman, Hohn and Daniel Goleman The Heart of Parenting Intelligent Child